There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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