Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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