; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
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