I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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