She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
