i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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