Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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