He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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