i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
