i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
