how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
