Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
