She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
