me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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