No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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