Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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