we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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