Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Say something about gay babies.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
