can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
