doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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