I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
