The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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