New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
