vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
