is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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