quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
