(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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