so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
