Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
