Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
