Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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