I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
