You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
