i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
