The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
