Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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