There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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