Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
