I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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