actually, I'm a sock model
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
