I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
