Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
