well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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