in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
