we're blogging at a bar
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
