elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
