Got a toothbrush?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he was CRYING into my vagina
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
