Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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