The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
