you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
What a dumb baby whore.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
