return my video game
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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