Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
